The Loneliness Epidemic Why So Many of Us Feel Alone--and How Leaders Can Respond by Susan Mettes - Baker Academic & Brazos Press - Brazos Press

The Loneliness Epidemic Why So Many of Us Feel Alone--and How Leaders Can Respond by Susan Mettes - Baker Academic & Brazos Press - Brazos Press

PD Nov 30 2021  

The Loneliness Epidemic by Susan Mettes delivers a fascinating, data-driven wake-up call that completely shatters standard stereotypes about who is lonely and why. Written by a behavioral scientist using extensive Barna Group data, this book moves past vague anecdotes to provide a concrete, analytical look at modern isolation. It is an essential read for ministry leaders, community builders, or anyone trying to understand why a hyper-connected society feels so entirely disconnected. 

Shattering Common Myths

Mettes uses hard statistics to challenge what we think loneliness looks like, offering several eye-opening insights: 

• The Youth Shock: Contrary to the belief that the elderly are the most isolated, data shows that young adults are actually facing the highest rates of loneliness. 
• The Social Media Twist: Instead of completely blaming technology, Mettes highlights how social media can occasionally act as a positive supplement to sustain real-world connections. 
• Intimacy Over Numbers: Loneliness is defined as the painful gap between the relationships you have and the emotional intimacy you actually need—meaning you can be surrounded by people or married and still feel deeply alone. 

The Three Pillars of Protection

Rather than offering shallow advice like "just go out and meet new people," Mettes builds a framework around three protective pillars that communities must foster to combat chronic isolation: 

1. Belonging: Creating secure, stable spaces where individuals feel completely accepted as they are, heavily emphasizing the overlooked value of deep, non-romantic friendships. 
2. Closeness: Cultivating emotional intimacy and vulnerability rather than settling for superficial, polite small talk.
3. Expectations: Aligning our social desires with reality, helping people navigate the inevitable disappointments of human relationships without immediately retreating into isolation. 

What makes The Loneliness Epidemic stand out is its pairing of objective social science with a deeply compassionate, faith-informed perspective. It gives local leaders and everyday friends the precise vocabulary and practical tools needed to spot hidden isolation and build genuine cultures of shared life. 

If you are interested, you can read it all and learn about the data findings regarding young adults or the specific ways Mettes suggests faith communities can reshape their small groups to foster better belonging.

Description

What makes people lonely? And how can Christian communities better minister to the lonely? In The Loneliness Epidemic, behavioral scientist and researcher Susan Mettes explores those questions and more.
 
Guided by current research from Barna Group, Mettes illustrates the profound physical, emotional, and social toll of loneliness in the United States. Surprisingly, her research shows that it is not the oldest Americans but the youngest adults who are loneliest and that social media can actually play a positive role in alleviating loneliness. Mettes highlights the role that belonging, friendship, closeness, and expectations play in preventing it. She also offers meaningful ways the church can minister to lonely people, going far beyond simplistic solutions--like helping them meet new people--to addressing their inner lives and the God who understands them.

With practical and highly applicable tips, this book is an invaluable tool for anyone--ministry leaders, parents, friends--trying to help someone who feels alone. Readers will emerge better able to deal with their own loneliness and to help alleviate the loneliness of others. Foreword by Barna Group president David Kinnaman.

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Advance Praise

“I have worked alongside Susan on numerous projects with Barna Group over the years. I am especially grateful for her careful, nuanced, and biblical approach to problems, as she demonstrates here in this important book. . . . If you’re experiencing loneliness or know someone who is—or if you work in churches, schools, companies, or organizations where there are human beings (yes, that’s pretty much all of us)—you should know what ideas are circulating about the crush of loneliness and the buffering of healthy relationships. Susan helps us to close these gaps.”—David Kinnaman, president, Barna Group (from the foreword)

“If you’re not aware we face a loneliness epidemic, you will be fully informed by the end of this stats-packed book. But Susan Mettes doesn’t just highlight the problem; she also busts myths and offers a host of practical ways that leaders can help build communities of belonging. I’m eager to put these tips into practice.”—Collin Hansen, vice president of content and editor in chief, The Gospel Coalition; host of the Gospelbound podcast
“I’ve never read a book that so eloquently elucidates the landscape of loneliness. Susan Mettes’s analysis of our loneliness pandemic is as thought-provoking as it is practical. You will come away from this book feeling inspired and equipped to help transform loneliness into belonging.”—Michelle Ami Reyes, vice president, Asian American Christian Collaborative
“This is an important book for so many reasons. Susan Mettes and Barna Group are to be commended for their myth-busting, data-driven analysis of loneliness. As a scholar-pastor who has spent much of his life studying—and trying to cultivate—Christian community, I found my assumptions about loneliness challenged at many points. But I also found much hope in the book’s thoughtful suggestions for ways we can alleviate the sense of aloneness and isolation experienced by Christians and non-Christians alike.”—Joseph H. Hellerman, author of When the Church Was a Family and Why We Need the Church to Become More Like Jesus
“As a single woman and a recent empty nester, I was eager to understand more about feelings of loneliness that I’ve been slow to acknowledge. The thorough research and insights Mettes offers, as well as a solid theological foundation, helped me to wrap my mind around the roots and remedies for the loneliness that is rampant in our culture. I highly recommend this book both for those who feel the sting of loneliness and for the ones who love us.”—Margot Starbuck, author of The Grown Woman’s Guide to Online Dating