Holding on Loosely Opening My Hands, Lightening My Load, and Seeing Something Else by Dana Knox Wright - Carpenter's Son Publishing/Clovercroft Publishing
Pub Date Aug 24 2021
Sometimes books arrive at the right moment. I don't know if this happens to you, but there are seasons where everything you hold onto hits you really hard. Your children, your plans, even the way things should be. And right then, this book appears.
Dana Knox Wright is a writer from Texas (right next to my state), a mom of three grown children, who at fifty (I'm almost reaching that age myself) decided to start letting go of fear. And no, she's not one of those who tells you "just let go" as if it were easy. She's the type of woman who sits down, keeps you company, and tells you how she has managed to open her hands when everything in them felt heavy.
The premise is simple but necessary: we come into the world with our hands closed, we learn to grab, to hold on, to control. And sometimes what we hold onto ends up suffocating us. Dana discovered this suddenly when she recognized that her tendency to possess and control was completely opposite to the example of Jesus. And from there, with an honesty that is sometimes uncomfortable, she tells stories of what she has let go of: her children, prejudices, fear, youth, the need for approval. Does it sound a bit like the themes of several women's book clubs? Yes, I remembered them too.
The best thing about this book is that it doesn't give a study, a workshop, or a lecture. Dana writes like someone having a conversation, with that warmth of an older friend who has lived enough that she doesn't have to pretend. The chapters are short, ideal for reading one before bed and thinking about it for a while. When someone tells me something personal, I recognize that there is laughter, there is crying (I read that more than a few have teared up), and there is that feeling of "how does she know what I'm going through if she doesn't even know me?"
One image I loved (because it has happened to me in this desert and maybe that's why I identified with it) was that during a drought in Texas, while everything was withering, Dana noticed a single flower (a zinnia, go Google it, I'll wait) that was clinging to life. And she understood that we can cling to the drought and let it dry out our souls (sighs), or we can let it go and walk, knowing that droughts don't last forever. I hope you think about this if, like me, you live in the desert and also, like the author, like us, you LOVE to see little flowers clinging to life.
That said, don't look here for deep theology or a step-by-step system. Dana writes from experience, from what she has lived, and that is precisely what gives the book its strength. It's a book to be read with the heart, not with a pencil ready to underline new truths (although there are some). Also, she describes herself as someone who learned to let go of fear at fifty, so if you're younger, maybe some things won't resonate with you yet. But when they do, you'll be grateful you read it.
In summary: Holding On Loosely is for when you feel your hands can't carry anymore. For mothers letting go of children, for perfectionists letting go of control, for all of us who need permission to live with our hands more open. It's a reminder that letting go is not losing; it's making space for what's coming. And that sometimes, the bravest way to love is to open your hands.
If you need a hug in the form of a book and someone to tell you "I've been through that too, and it's possible," this is your book. Don't read it fast. Better yet, read it with a cup of tea, to be consistent with your desire to let go, hehe.
